No matter how many times I read Captivating I always pull something different from it each time...


Haunted by a Question Chapter 3 of Captivating

This Chapter discuses 2 types of women and our indulgences we run to instead of God.

Type 1. The Dominating Woman

“She needs no one. She is in charge- ‘on top of things constantly.’ She is a woman who know hot to get what she wants.” (pg 51)

“If she cannot secure her relationships, then she kills her heart’s longing for intimacy so that she will be safe and in control.” (pg 52)

“Controlling women are those of us who don’t trust anyone else to drive our cars. Or help in the kitchen. Or speak at our retreats or our meetings. Or carry something for us.” (pg 53)

Type 2. The Desolate Woman

“She is naive, lost, bereft of any sense of self.” (pg 53)

“Desolate woman are ruled by the aching abyss within them… They are consumed by a hunger for relationship.” (pg 54)

Regardless of which category we might fall into, our “question” remains unanswered, and we allow ourselves indulgences to try to fill the void. Be it food, daydreaming, gossip, unhealthy relationships, shopping whatever- we turn to other sources instead of God.

What do you turn to?

Ever heard of retail therapy? My husband will tell you that I have and I never miss a session. If I have a bad day I don't turn to a tub of icecream like most people. I go shopping, for some reason this makes me feel better. Even if I go out and come home with nothing the wasted time kind of clears my head. Its not like Im going on a shopping spree or anything but that time that i'm spending shopping Is time I could be spending praying on what ever made my day bad. No matter what type of woman you are turn to prayer when you need to indulge in something positive (=!
 
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Today I had to look backwards in order to see forward. In a moment of hurt feelings, and wanting to write something awful and angry, I looked back to a post I wrote about 4 years ago....

"Betrayal cuts deep. Penetrating deeper than any imaginable physical abrasion. Wounding us from the inside out leaving us un healable, forever changed and untrusting to the world around us. The wound of betrayal is sharp and precise, piercing right through the heart leaving no traces behind of its clever fraud. It will leave you feeling foolish and enraged, hurt and disgusted; but after all even Judas betrayed Jesus. Yet even in the midst of the deceitful pain you have caused in my heart I will pray for you"

I posted this  when I had given my life to God and it seemed as if those who I thought were my closest friends no longer accepted me for the person I had became. And though it hurt this experience was a life lesson I will never forget. It taught me there are so many people who are going to impact my life for the better and even for the worse. They may be the one doing the actions of impact, but I am the one who chooses just how this impacts me. Do I take a bad situation and pray on it? Do I grow from it and learn from it? Do I take a good situation and thank God for it. Do I cherish it more for what it is? Without the bad we would never appreciate the good in our lives.While we all feel those feelings when we are hurt and betrayed I look back and I think of how much Ive grown since then... the person I am today. And I feel thankful. People are always going to hurt you and bring you down. Make you feel like you are less than you are and make you feel like you arnt good enough. The truth is those people arnt good enough for you. Learn from this, grow from this, pray on this. 

 
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In a world of instant tans, instant message, and having more available at our finger tips, easier and faster than ever before why is it that instead of feeling that this is a blessing we treat it as a entitlement. Are you guilty of popping something in the microwave and standing in front of it impatiently waiting for it to "cook faster". Cook faster! Its taking 2 minutes to cook something that if you made it from scratch would mostly likely take 2 hours. Why are we so impatient? Has todays technology and society turned us into spoiled brats? We loathe the idea of actually waiting and working for something. Today I found myself frustrated that peeling a boiled egg was taking me "soooo long" really it took about 40 seconds but it seemed like all morning at the time. I even caught myself thinking I'm going to start buying the eggs that are already boiled and peeled for you. Realistically those eggs are twice the price of a dozen and only come with 6 eggs. That's beyond foolish, my mother grew up on a farm where she had to actually take care of the chickens, collect the eggs, etc. All I have to do is buy them at the store put them in a pot of water and take the shell off. Its not that hard, but I am spoiled with an instant world. We all are we take advantage of so many things and so many people in our life because...well because we can. Stop living like this! God gives just as easily as he can take away. Count your blessings because they were once hopes and prayers. I prayed and prayed for God to give me an amazing husband. With all of the toxic relationships I had seen throughout my life and participated in myself. I had this idea in my head of all the things I didn't want in a husband. He would be this ,and he would be that. With all of my expectations you would think id never get married! But God knew what I NEEDED in a husband and he blessed me with that. And I can tell you now I am so thankful for that. God answered my prayers. Yet I don't thank God for him nearly enough, and I don't tell my husband how much I appreciate how he treats me, and how he is everything I NEEDED in my life nearly enough.  I act as if I deserve the way he treats me. But in all honesty I don't, do any of us really deserve the love we are given by our families? By our friends? By our husbands or wives or kids? We all fall short and yet God blesses us over and over. Why should we act as if we are entitled to these things? To these blessings? We arn't. So this is a wake up call to me, and hopefully to you as well. Stop living for an instant world. Be thankful for what you have, and be thankful for those around you. God knows what you NEED and he will provide it to you. It may not be instantly, but your prayer is not a instant message you send to God so that he will instantly give you what you asked for. #Be patient, be thankful, be blessed.

God gives every bird its food,
but He does not throw it
into its nest.
 
- J G
Holland